Here at The Gazette, we have our share of wacky moments. We decided to share some of them. If you don't like the "humor," then kindly refer to the title of this column. * * * SPRING RENEWAL: One of the nice things about spring is that even lawns that usually look tattered are a bright shade of green when compared to what they were just a few weeks ago. Soon some of those well-used lawns will be highlighted with yellow accents. * * * NOT SO RED, RED WINE: Speaking of dandelions, has anyone ever considered mass production of dandelion wine. It seems that the dandelion crop is more reliable than the grape crop. * * * LISTEN CLOSELY: Roll call for the Portage County Board of Supervisors is getting harder. Two Borskis have served on the County Board together for a long time, but fortunately their first names - Ron and Jerry - are easily distinguishable. Ron Borski represents District 22, while Jerry Borski represents District 25. That's not the case with the two Petersons on the board. District 12 Supervisor William Peterson has served on the board for several years, but Tuesday night he was joined by District 1 Supervisor Philip Peterson. They will be the "Phil and Bill Show," supervisors joked. * * * SPRING COLORS: Orange, not green, is the color of spring. Everywhere one looks there are orange construction barrels, orange road signs and orange traffic cones. * * * WINDY AND UNWINNING WAYS: The Milwaukee Brewers quick start has come to end and now the Brew Crew is at the bottom of its division. It's been two decades since the Brewers went to the World Series. At this rate Brewers' fans could start to feel like Chicago Cubs' fans. Many people outside the Midwest don't know the difference between Chicago and Milwaukee, after all both cities are known for sausages, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that Brewers would become the Cubs of the 21st century. * * * SAFETY FIRST: With opening day of fishing season slightly more than a week away, we offer this safety tip to boaters - keep your cooler shut and your boat plugged. As for trout anglers, don't wear hip boots when you should be wearing chest waders. * * * FISHING 101: A sign above the mantle in one angler's cabin says all that the general public needs to know about fishing - "The only time a fisherman is telling the truth is when he calls another fisherman a liar." * * * ELECTORAL COLLEGE: The 2004 presidential election is more than five months away, but already Wisconsin has been picked as a battleground state and its airwaves are full of political ads. All of the attack ads are getting to be so annoying that we would like to a see a law banning them from TV. Of course, it would still be OK for candidates to run ads in newspapers. Note to the Bush and Kerry campaigns - The Gazette is in the phone book. * * * SPRINGTIME IN WISCONSIN: That's the time of the year where residents have the heat on in the morning, come home in the afternoon to turn off the furnace and turn on the air conditioning, then turn on the furnace again in the morning. * * * TIME SLIP: Trivia players have identified a new motion that occurs during the trivia contest when they get up for something and slip on a Time magazine that's on the floor. * * * SEARCHING FOR THE HIDDEN CLUE: Trivia players sometimes have difficulty trying to pick out clues for the "Trivia Stone," especially when vehicles of other trivia players are unwittingly parked around a house, blocking vision of the item designated as a clue.