Here at The Gazette, we have our share of wacky moments. We decided to share some of them. If you don't like the "humor," then kindly refer to the title of this column. * * * PERSONALIZED PARKING: The lot at the Plover VFW Hall identifies one reserved parking space by simply stating: "Bert Platta Parks Here." * * * HEAT WAVE ENDS: High temperatures have been in the 80s and 90s, causing a great deal of discomfort for many area residents. The heat wave is expected to end before the weekend when temperatures are expected to only reach the upper 60s in some areas. Couldn't the heat wave have waited until after the Labor Day weekend to end? * * * MISTERS AUGUST: The Milwaukee Brewers are one of the hottest teams in baseball right now, having gone on a long winning streak. Unfortunately for them, their season was done before the All Star break in mid-July. It's been a long time since a Milwaukee Brewer was paid to play baseball in October. * * * BRING ON THE BURGERS: The Brewers winning streak this week has prompted George Webb restaurants in Milwaukee to once again offer free hamburgers if the team wins 12 straight. * * * MIRACLE OF MILLER: As of Wednesday, the Brewers would have to lose their last 31 games in order to have the same record as the team did last year. What would happen if they won their last 31 years? That only happens in movies or fiction. * * * SAY GOODBYE: The NFL regular season usually starts the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, but with Labor Day falling on Sept. 1 this year, football won't start until the following Sunday. That's good news for the families of millions of football fans. They will get to spend a three-day weekend with their loved ones until they say goodbye to them and await their return sometime after the Pro Bowl in February. This is probably also the last good weekend to vacuum furniture that is in front of a football fan's television set. * * * POLITICS TRUMPS SCIENCE: A committee from the State Legislature and the Natural Resources Board are butting heads over Wisconsin's deer baiting and feeding ban. The Legislature wants the Department of Natural Resources (DNR) to end the ban, while the Natural Resources Board supports keeping the ban and following the advice of DNR scientists. Critics of the Legislature say legislators should stay out of wildlife management issues and follow the advice of trained wildlife managers. They should, but they won't. After all, legislators don't follow the advice of trained economists when it comes time to write the state's budget. * * * LAST MINUTE PREPARATIONS: Area libraries and bookstores should be busy places this weekend. With only a few days left before schools start up, procrastinating students are running out of time to read all the books they promised teachers they would during their summer vacations. * * * GRATEFUL FOR SEASONS: Tom Schrader said living in Wisconsin certainly has advantages, even though some people complain there's only two seasons, construction and the rest of the year. Those poor people who live in Florida and other warmer states really only have one season, construction, because it's warm enough all year long to work on road construction. "Thank God for winter," he said. "Until someone invents a concrete that they can pour in winter." * * * JOYS OF CONSTRUCTION: Road construction allows motorists the opportunity to make some turns that they can't do at other times of the year. For example, now motorists can easily turn onto Division Street from Ellis Street and College Avenue, as well as some other streets north and south because Division is blocked off at Main Street. Try that some other time. * * * IT'S ALL RELATIVE: Norm Kurkowski of Almond said he heard a story about a couple out for a ride on a country road when they got into an argument and didn't talk for about 30 miles. Then the wife noticed some cows, pigs and goats out in a field and asked the husband if they were his relatives. "Yes," he responded. "They're in-laws." * * * THE ENFORCER: U.S. Sen. Russell Feingold, D-Wis., told those at the Portage County Democratic Party Picnic Sunday that his family understood that he had to come to Stevens Point for the picnic on Sunday instead of doing something with them. "My family knows it's better for me to have my family mad at me than Mary Thurmaier (a longtime local Democratic official and Stevens Point Area Board of Education member). Feingold said Thurmaier also critiqued his speech at the Wisconsin Democratic convention. "Mary said my convention speech was OK," he said, "except I didn't mention education.