Here at The Gazette, we have our share of wacky moments. We decided to share some of them. If you don't like the "humor," then kindly refer to the title of this column. * * * JAVA AS A NON-COMPUTER LANGUAGE: The "Party of Eight," an area group, celebrated an 800th weekly reunion by consuming the group's 1,000th gallon of coffee on Sunday morning, Aug. 17, at the Blue Top Supper Club in Stevens Point. The group was attended to by Blue Top server Amanda G. Party members motored to the event from Stevens Point's east side, town of Hull and village of Plover. An outside guest traveled from Waunakee for the festivities. The Hawaiian theme of the day was consistent with the 1987 origins of the "Party of Eight." That year an adventure to the Hawaiian Islands was organized by member Bill King. Since that time the members have attempted to keep abreast of current events by meeting weekly and participating in spirited discussions while coffee klatching. Artifacts and attire from the original excursion were shared at the meeting. The program included a public apology for disturbances created during the previous 800 meetings. Original "Party of Eight" members included Bill and Carleen King, John and Deb Legro, Barry and Doris Hautala and John and Dori Jury. * * * GEORGE STUDY IS FOR THE BIRDS: Before Chancellor Thomas George takes flight to Missouri-St. Louis, it's worth noting that among his scholarly research in physics is a paper he co-authored with biologists Charles and Claudine Long, also of UW-SP and an Indiana State University cohort dealing with the take-off point when birds started to fly. Their combined effort carries the title, "Physical theory, origin of flight, and a synthesis proposed for birds." In other words, did birds start flying by running and leaping, or did they jump off a perch and glide and flutter? The research paper concludes - based on principles of physics and the birds' own physiology - that our avian friends flutter-glided from perches and trees. The scientists say that "Physical theory based on Newton's principles support this synthesis, and rules out the ground-up theory" because running and leaping…is not feasible physically…considering air resistance or forces against bipedal running. Now that they're pretty well proved their thesis, perhaps they'll get to work to settle the old "Which came first - the chicken or the egg?" question. * * * BUDGET WOES: At a farewell reception this week, Thomas George admitted every state and university is dealing with budget cuts. "Everyone's got them except North Dakota," he said, "but that's because North Dakota doesn't have a budget." * * * SUSPICIOUS VISITOR: Interim UW-SP Chancellor Virginia Helm recounted one of the many Thomas George stories during a reception for the chancellor. She said George was living in Delzell Hall at the time and had gone downstairs to do the laundry early one morning. A student noticed an individual in the laundry room and called security, reporting a suspicious person. George had to explain that he was the chancellor and was simply doing his own laundry. * * * MARS ATTACKS: Astronomers say the planet Mars will be closer to Earth this month than it has been in the past 60,000 years. How do they know? Have some astronomers noticed their commuting times have been shorter? * * * PUZZLE SALES DIPS: Area merchants report that sales of various puzzles in the Stevens Point area have slipped dramatically this season. Apparently area residents have had enough puzzles trying to maneuver around construction sites this summer. * * * MOVE OVER CLYDESDALES: The Point Brewery unveiled its counterattack to decades of Clydesdales pulling beer wagons for a St. Louis-based brewery. At Brews, Brats and Bands last weekend, a team of dachshunds pulled a small wagon of Point Root Beer cartons around the grounds at Brewery Park, prancing like they have at several parades in the area this summer. The dachshunds certainly typify a David-vs.-Goliath scene when compared to the Clydesdales. * * * HEAVENLY DREAM ROLLS IN: Sandy Sikorski said she was picking plums from a tree at a residence and holding the plums in her shirt. When she reached a little higher, she lost her hold on the shirt and the plums fell out, rolling into a ground hog hole on the property, every last one of the plums. That ground hog must be counting its blessings, she said, figuring a treat like that is like manna from heaven. * * * AN OLD OXYMORON: Gazette reader Corrine Kamanski of Sussex said she was in Canada a couple of weeks ago when she saw a sign that made her wonder. The sign read, "Antiques Outlet." * * * INDOOR COLD FRONT: The recent heat wave has caused people in offices and homes with air conditioning to turn the thermostat down. It's gotten so cold in some buildings that people need to wear sweaters. Of course, this will all balance out in January when below zero temperatures cause people to stoke up furnaces to the point where they need to wear shorts and a T-shirt inside. * * * PARKING SHORTAGE SOLVED: The parking lot on Church Street serving employees of the County-City Building is scheduled to be torn up for renovation this week and closed for a couple of months until it's completed. This will further aggravate a shortage of convenient parking in the area. A section of the parking lot next to the Law Enforcement Center is reserved for Huber work-release prisoners (so their cars aren't scattered in a number of lots during the snowplowing season). County and city officials looking for a reserved parking place close to the County-City Building may want to consider serving some time on Huber. * * * FOR BREVITY'S SAKE: The agenda at Tuesday's meeting of the Portage County Board of Supervisors was relatively short, which as many government watchers know often results in the meeting being needlessly dragged on … and on. County Board Chairman Philip Idsvoog informed supervisors that it was his wedding anniversary and his wife expected him home early. "She asked me to say that," Idsvoog said. * * * DISASTER RELIEF: An area School Board member was talking with a Red Cross official and was asking about eligibility issues. With the looming budget crisis, the board member jokingly wondered if the school district might be eligible for disaster assistance.