Here at The Gazette, we have our share of wacky moments. We decided to share some of them. If you don't like the "humor," then kindly refer to the title of this column. * * * SAFETY FIRST: Three local deer hunters returning from Wayupnorth, Wis., Sunday night had to contend with snow-covered and slippery roads for all of their 200-mile trip. When road conditions worsened near Lake DuBay, they debated turning around and going back to their hunting camp. * * * FIRST TIMER: One local wag has never been deer hunting before and settled for what some may think is the next best thing - a deer hunting arcade game. He was a poor shot at the start, hitting only 2 of 16 his first time, but by the end of the weekend he had improved to 13 of 16. While they might not be real deer, the wag didn't have to sit in the cold weather. Instead, he stayed in a warm tavern sipping on beer. * * * JUSTICE IS SWIFT: After watching attorneys for Vice President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush argue their cases before the Florida Supreme Court earlier this week, one wag suggested that was the wrong venue for deciding the next president of the United States. It takes those justices too long to come to a decision. The wag thinks it would have been far better to have those TV judges - Judge Judy Scheindlin, Judge Jerry Scheindlin, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mills Lane and even Judge Joseph Wapner decide. After all, each of them disposes of a case in 15 to 30 minutes on TV. * * * SURPLUS OF PAINT: Southbound vehicles on Michigan Avenue at Clark Street have two lanes of traffic, the left lane for left turns and the right lane for straight-ahead traffic. So how come the southbound traffic on Michigan south of Clark suddenly has two lanes. Does that mean motorists on Michigan must swerve quickly into the left lane to allow vehicles making a right turn on red from Clark to use that lane? * * * VICTIM OF GEOLOGY: A comprehensive outdoor recreation plan approved by the Portage County Board of Supervisors found that demand exceeds supply for downhill skiing opportunities in the county. Not having any high peaks in these parts, that problem may be unsolvable - unless we build a mountain of garbage at the county landfill. * * * RECOUNT FEVER: Florida's presidential election results have started an annoying trend. It seems like a person can't get through a day anymore without someone calling for a recount. The recount mania got a little out of hand at one deer hunting camp, where no one could a play a cribbage hand without a large amount of criticism. OK, so a person doesn't get any points for a "19." There's no need to get snippy about it. * * * LEAP FROG: Now that the annual Stevens Point Christmas parade is history, we can celebrate Thanksgiving. * * * HOW MANY ELECTRICIANS DOES IT…: Speaking of the parade, one observer noted that the lights weren't working on the Brotherhood of Electricians float. What the heck, at least they had a float. The best The Gazette could come up with was a 1965 Dodge Dart. * * * WHY THE RUSH: Some people want to rush right past Thanksgiving. An annual survey of food prices showed that a Thanksgiving feast for 10 people costs not much more than $30, and less than last year. Why would we rush past that in order to spend way too much for Christmas? * * * WAY TOO OBVIOUS: It's almost too easy to note that this Thanksgiving arrives more than two weeks after the presidential election and we still don't know which turkey will be president. * * * OK, ONE MORE: Florida's recount has produced its share of wry humor, including the observation that some of the people who had trouble figuring out the ballot have no trouble running four bingo cards at once. * * * SYNERGY: The county's updated recreation plan notes that demand exceeds supply for downhill skiing, cross country skiing and firearm target shooting. This is a no-brainer. This county is long overdue for a biathlon course anyway. * * * THE LONG DARKNESS: Winter came in hard and fast the past couple of weeks, prompting one observer to note that we think there are five distinct months ahead when it's all really only one month and it's called January. * * * HOME FIELD, BABY: Ah, but this is the time of year when the Green Bay Packers invite unwitting dome boys to come up for a game of football. It's a pleasure watching them shiver in the wind and snow. * * * I SAW YOU: One local couple was one of many Portage County people sitting in that wind and snow at Lambeau Field Sunday. A Gazette staffer on a bus trip with Kim's Barrel Inn overheard the couple tell the story of appearing on the Sony Jumbotron during the game. Moments later the man's cellular phone rang. The person on the other end, from Portage County, was at the game too, saw them on the replay board and asked where they were sitting. * * * BLATANT PLUG: That staffer at the Packers game Sunday traveled with Chris Reynolds (owner of Mug Shots tavern on the square) and Joe Mama (owner of Joe Mama's Catering) while riding a Lamers bus arranged by Kim's Barrel Inn. * * * GOT HIS BELL RUNG: Ross Verba suffered a concussion late in Sunday's game and coach Mike Sherman said he showed up on time for the team's usual Monday meeting. Sherman said Verba didn't remember the coach telling the Packer players they had Monday off. * * * COWBOY FANS: As the Cowboys prepared to host the Minnesota's Vikings on Thanksgiving Day, one bloke noted that he has been a Cowboys fan for a long time, or at least since learning of the matchup. * * * SAY CHEESE: One athlete having her headshot taken recently by a staffer had to make sure her smile was fine. Many usually make sure their hair looks OK, but this particular athlete had just been to the dentist and received a shot of novocaine. * * * RAILROAD WARS: It's not really funny, but sometimes it seems like the principals in the fight over the Wisconsin Central are like boys arguing about who gets the Lionel first down in the basement.