Here at The Gazette, we have our share of wacky moments. We decided to share some of them. If you don't like the "humor," then kindly refer to the title of this column. * * * UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE: Steve Seramur tells of a restaurant customer who apparently ordered a sandwich without knowing what it was or what it contained. He says his daughter, who works as a server, related an instance where a customer sent a Reuben sandwich back to the kitchen - because it contained sauerkraut. * * * APRIL FOOLS: Some people apparently fell for The Gazette's two-page April Fools section. For the record, there are no submarines in the Wisconsin River, although some anglers claim fish they have lost were that big. And, unlike a couple of callers to the village municipal building thought, Whiting is not the next site of the Portage County Jail. Instead, inmates are going to be housed on a submarine in the Wisconsin River? * * * WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND: The telephone rang at a Gazette staffer's home on Saturday night, April 1, shortly after the Wisconsin Badgers game had ended. On the line was one of the staffer's children, who had received the traditional parental advice to behave during a trip to La Crosse. The child asked if the parent could come to La Crosse and bail the child out of jail. In response to questions about what had happened, the child explained about an altercation following the Badger loss and said the bond was $275. The parent wasn't pleased with the telephone call but was relieved soon when the child said, "April Fool." * * * FAMILY PHOTO, 2000: A student at UW-Stevens Point had her head-shaved in one of those "I'm free" moments. When she told her mother, she learned that mom had scheduled a family photo for the next week. Not so free anymore. Mom changed the photo session to a later date. * * * AND THE WINNER: Roger Bullis, who ran as a write-in for a Plover village trustee position in Tuesday's election and won, said his worst fear was that he'd lose to Daffy Duck. Actually, Daffy already holds office in Portage County. So do Goofy, Dumbo and Mickey, who have won in previous write-in elections. * * * OLD HABITS: Church Street has been a one-way northbound street south of Clark Street for a couple of decades, so it's no surprise that people are having a hard time getting used to the Business 51 detour that's made a portion of it a two-way street. Seeing a couple of cars driving south on Church Street, a sheriff's deputy pulled them both over a few hours after the detour started Monday morning. * * * TEMPORARY EXPERIMENT: The speed bumps around the lagoon at Bukolt Park didn't work, Tom Schrader, director of parks and recreation for Stevens Point, said, so the blacktop is being pulverized and the road will become a gravel road. Work begins Monday, April 10, on the road, as well as Rachick Road. However, the road will become blacktop again once the blacktop facilities begin operating later this spring. Speed bumps will also be installed so motorists can test the springs and suspension in their vehicles. * * * WOULD YOU BELIEVE?: Speaking of motorists, Stevens Point police were watching the start of the Clark Street bridge construction project. The lights on Water Street at Clark Street were in a flashing-red mode when suddenly a motorist drove through without stopping. After being pulled over by police, the motorist explained that vehicles didn't have to stop at red signal lights when a bridge is closed. Needless to say, police didn't buy the explanation. * * * CELLULAR SENSE: Our "Safe Driver of the Week" award goes to the driver of a GMC pickup truck. Rather than keep driving and talking, he pulled over in front of The Gazette Wednesday to have a 10-minute long cellular phone conversation. Judging by how much he was waving his hands around, he would have had a tough time negotiating the Church Street underpass curve if he had decided to keep on trucking. * * * EAT, ETC.: With WWSP's annual Trivia contest just a week away, it's time for some serious last-minute training. That would include sleep deprivation exercises, junk food pumping, late-night crabbing and related body/mind/soul exercises. As for the pile of materials you meant to clip, forget it. Someone else will get the answer from the Internet, anyway.