Commentary - pcgazette.com

Commentary
pcgazette.com

Lingual blunders have occurred for years

By JIM SCHUH
of The Gazette
Young people in broadcasting have picked up some bad habits, not the least of which is using words or phrases on the air they've heard but don't understand. It makes them sound silly. Here's a great example:

One morning not long ago, a friend was watching the morning program on Channel 7. The news reporter opined that it was tough to return to her job after a few days off, telling her audience of the difficulty in getting back to the "bump and grind" of the workweek.

I don't know what your take on that statement is, but mine is that she must have a side job stripping for the floor crew during commercial breaks. "Bump and grind" is what strippers do, after all.

The poor lass meant to say she had returned to the "grind" of the workweek. But somewhere along the line, she heard the other phrase and confused the two. Then on the morning of Jan. 28, before the benefits of a few cups of coffee took hold, she uttered the revealing blooper - not once, but twice.

When I was in high school, Kermit Schafer issued a series of 33-1/3 rpm record albums (remember them?) filled with radio and television bloopers - some real, and some recreated. He probably was the first to recognize there would be a public appetite for spoonerisms - the unintentional interchange of two sounds - and other goofs.

In the intervening years, TV networks have capitalized on that basic idea, and have inundated us with blooper shows of all sorts. Many contain "outtakes" from filmed or videotaped programs, but they're not quite like Schafer's collection. The real occurrences came from live broadcasts, where the performer had no second chance to get things right.

I pulled out the five-album set of bloopers the other day to listen to them again. It's been about 40 years since I last played them, and although I've been able to recall some of the lingual lapses without a replay, it was fun to "rediscover" many others.

The granddaddy of all radio spoonerisms occurred during the administration of President Herbert Hoover, who served from 1929 to 1933. During a tribute on CBS on Mr. Hoover's birthday, young announcer Harry von Zell was nearing the end of an account of the president's accomplishments, when his tongue twisted, and he mispronounced the president's name as "Hoobert Heever."

That lapsis linguæ propelled von Zell into the annals of radio history, and stuck with him for the rest of his life. (He later announced the "Fred Allen Show" on radio, and the "George Burns and Gracie Allen Show" on TV. Von Zell died in 1981.)

Eddie Peabody was a famous banjo player. An announcer once introduced him this way: "Mr. Eddie Playbody will now pee for you." A news reporter informed the nation that "all the world was thrilled by the marriage of the Duck and Duchess of Windsor." On a farm show, the announcer introduced a group of musicians, saying they'd be playing "There's an empty bunk in the cathouse tonight." He issued a quick correction: "There's an empty cot in the bunkhouse tonight." How about the announcer who said, "You are listening to the mucous of Clyde Lucas." Or "Tune in tomorrow to see if John gooses Sadie's cook ... uh, make that, if John cooks Sadie's goose."

Some mistakes are the result of incompetence. One brain-dead announcer intoned, "You'll now hear 'O Come All Ye Faithful' by Adeste Fidelis." Or "The next selection was composed by George Gerschwin, with lyrics by his lovely wife, Ira."

Others result from bad copywriting: "Ladies, at Zimmer's Department Store, you'll find sneakers that are excellent for streetwalking." Or during World War II, when people had to save grease, "Ladies, take your fat cans down to the corner grocer."

Some of the lingual blunders almost require an "R" rating. Consider the blush on the face of the announcer who told listeners "It's Wonder Bread, for the breast in bed."

Sometimes, it's easy to substitute a word you don't mean to. On Channel 13 last Saturday, the weather lady informed us that with the approaching snowstorm, visibility would be down to a quarter-inch.

Speaking of snow, I can't vouch for the accuracy of this one, but it's entirely possible it happened. I received it from a broadcaster in Madison a few weeks ago. Just in case you haven't seen it, may I be the first to present it to you:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?

The day after it was supposed to snow, but didn't, the anchorwoman turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did Bob have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were bent over laughing.

There's really mothing nore to add.

You may reach Jim Schuh at The Gazette, or by e-mail at jpschuh@yahoo.com.



	Lingual blunders have occurred for years By JIM SCHUH of The Gazette Young people in broadcasting have picked up some bad habits, not the least of which is using words or phrases on the air they've heard but don't understand. It makes them sound silly. Here's a great example: One morning not long ago, a friend was watching the morning program on Channel 7. The news reporter opined that it was tough to return to her job after a few days off, telling her audience of the difficulty in getting back to the "bump and grind" of the workweek. I don't know what your take on that statement is, but mine is that she must have a side job stripping for the floor crew during commercial breaks. "Bump and grind" is what strippers do, after all. The poor lass meant to say she had returned to the "grind" of the workweek. But somewhere along the line, she heard the other phrase and confused the two. Then on the morning of Jan. 28, before the benefits of a few cups of coffee took hold, she uttered the revealing blooper - not once, but twice. When I was in high school, Kermit Schafer issued a series of 33-1/3 rpm record albums (remember them?) filled with radio and television bloopers - some real, and some recreated. He probably was the first to recognize there would be a public appetite for spoonerisms - the unintentional interchange of two sounds - and other goofs. In the intervening years, TV networks have capitalized on that basic idea, and have inundated us with blooper shows of all sorts. Many contain "outtakes" from filmed or videotaped programs, but they're not quite like Schafer's collection. The real occurrences came from live broadcasts, where the performer had no second chance to get things right. I pulled out the five-album set of bloopers the other day to listen to them again. It's been about 40 years since I last played them, and although I've been able to recall some of the lingual lapses without a replay, it was fun to "rediscover" many others. The granddaddy of all radio spoonerisms occurred during the administration of President Herbert Hoover, who served from 1929 to 1933. During a tribute on CBS on Mr. Hoover's birthday, young announcer Harry von Zell was nearing the end of an account of the president's accomplishments, when his tongue twisted, and he mispronounced the president's name as "Hoobert Heever." That lapsis linguæ propelled von Zell into the annals of radio history, and stuck with him for the rest of his life. (He later announced the "Fred Allen Show" on radio, and the "George Burns and Gracie Allen Show" on TV. Von Zell died in 1981.) Eddie Peabody was a famous banjo player. An announcer once introduced him this way: "Mr. Eddie Playbody will now pee for you." A news reporter informed the nation that "all the world was thrilled by the marriage of the Duck and Duchess of Windsor." On a farm show, the announcer introduced a group of musicians, saying they'd be playing "There's an empty bunk in the cathouse tonight." He issued a quick correction: "There's an empty cot in the bunkhouse tonight." How about the announcer who said, "You are listening to the mucous of Clyde Lucas." Or "Tune in tomorrow to see if John gooses Sadie's cook ... uh, make that, if John cooks Sadie's goose." Some mistakes are the result of incompetence. One brain-dead announcer intoned, "You'll now hear 'O Come All Ye Faithful' by Adeste Fidelis." Or "The next selection was composed by George Gerschwin, with lyrics by his lovely wife, Ira." Others result from bad copywriting: "Ladies, at Zimmer's Department Store, you'll find sneakers that are excellent for streetwalking." Or during World War II, when people had to save grease, "Ladies, take your fat cans down to the corner grocer." Some of the lingual blunders almost require an "R" rating. Consider the blush on the face of the announcer who told listeners "It's Wonder Bread, for the breast in bed." Sometimes, it's easy to substitute a word you don't mean to. On Channel 13 last Saturday, the weather lady informed us that with the approaching snowstorm, visibility would be down to a quarter-inch. Speaking of snow, I can't vouch for the accuracy of this one, but it's entirely possible it happened. I received it from a broadcaster in Madison a few weeks ago. Just in case you haven't seen it, may I be the first to present it to you: This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? The day after it was supposed to snow, but didn't, the anchorwoman turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did Bob have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were bent over laughing. There's really mothing nore to add. You may reach Jim Schuh at The Gazette, or by e-mail at jpschuh@yahoo.com.