Commentary - pcgazette.com

Commentary
pcgazette.com

Bad style shows through George W. Bush letter

By JIM SCHUH
of The Gazette
Last fall, I told you about a "personal" letter I received from Hillary Clinton, asking me for money so she could decide whether to run for the U.S. Senate seat from the State of New York.

Mrs. Clinton's letter was personal and quite charming, noting the many things "we'd been through together." I remember seeing her up close in person a few times - even shaking hands with her once - but I never felt we were close. And if she really thought we were friends, I recalled that old adage: "never to loan (or give) money to your friends." So - just to be safe - and preserve our "friendship," I didn't send any.

Now George W. Bush wants money, too. He's written, and suggests I send anywhere between $35 and $1,000 to help his campaign. He tells me, "We can end the Clinton/Gore era, but I need your help today." George W's note isn't as sweet as Hillary's.

The gold seal of the Governor of the State of Texas adorns the top of the letter. At first glance, the letter appears to be handwritten, and the salutation - "Mr. Schuh" - is in the same hand as the remainder of the letter. A computer can't do that, can it? Surely Mr. Bush must think we met somewhere.

George W. Bush has to be a very important figure - I say that because his handwriting is most difficult to read. I've always heard that if you have sloppy or hard-to-read handwriting, you must be an important person.

Look at doctors - they're important people and they write illegibly, especially on prescriptions. (By the way, I think I know why it takes pharmacists so long to fill prescriptions - they sneak behind the counter, duck down and secretly call the doctor to find out what he wrote on that scrap of paper.)

Back to Mr. Bush - two things in his letter stand out that concern me, and both are "Yuppie-isms."

In the upper right hand corner, Mr. Bush writes the date this way: "4.3.00." He must like dots and dot-coms - a sure sign of "Yuppie-ness." We older types learned to write the date "4/3/00," using slashes between the day, month and year. A few people are now using dots within telephone numbers, (715.343.8045) so they can appear European or stylish or whatever. Advertising agencies are to blame for that.

Mr. Bush also commits what news people say is a cardinal sin. We always learned that the office of the presidency requires calling the person holding it "Mister." Mr. Bush probably would want folks to address him as "Mister" if he wins the November election, but he must have such disdain for the present White House occupant and the vice-president that he calls them simply "Clinton/Gore." Notice he used a slash between their names - not a dot. In any event, it's bad form.

Mr. Bush treats Misters Clinton and Gore as a single unit (a sneaky thing challengers often do, to make voters think the incumbent and his partner are inseparable). Mr. Bush probably would argue with me, but I think "Clinton/Gore" are two people. I distinctly remember seeing both of them on TV, even though Mr. Gore blended in with the wallpaper. When using them as the subject of a sentence, grammatical rules call for a plural predicate, unless you're the Associated Press, and make your own rules. Then you use singular verbs with collective nouns, for example: "the couple ARE" or "the class WERE." In his letter to me, Mr. Bush has assumed the AP posture, and uses "has" instead of "have." He writes: "For eight years, Clinton/Gore HAS had history's greatest opportunity to reform Social Security."

Mr. Bush has a few other bad letter-writing habits - he mixes writing with printing, and he doesn't connect all the letters in his words. He likes to write the small letter "L" all by itself, even in the middle of a word, so it comes out looking like this: "mu l tip l ied." Sometimes, he does the same with the small letter "F," as in "ref orm." This makes it tough to read his letter.

I'm also not sure I can believe all of Mr. Bush's promises. In one paragraph, he writes "after eight years of Clinton/Gore, we have the highest tax burden since World War II. I will work to cut taxes for everyone who pays taxes." But two paragraphs above that, Mr. Bush says, "For eight years, Clinton/Gore multiplied our military's missions, while cutting its capabilities. I will rebuild our military." Sounds to me like he might have to raise taxes to buy more $600 monkey wrenches for the Army.

Well, I haven't sent any money. So let me sum it up this way: I think Mr. Bush would rather that I don't connect various parts of his letter - in the same way he doesn't connect parts of his words.

You may reach Jim Schuh at the Gazette, or by e-mail at jpschuh@excite.com.



	Bad style shows through George W. Bush letter By JIM SCHUH of The Gazette Last fall, I told you about a "personal" letter I received from Hillary Clinton, asking me for money so she could decide whether to run for the U.S. Senate seat from the State of New York. Mrs. Clinton's letter was personal and quite charming, noting the many things "we'd been through together." I remember seeing her up close in person a few times - even shaking hands with her once - but I never felt we were close. And if she really thought we were friends, I recalled that old adage: "never to loan (or give) money to your friends." So - just to be safe - and preserve our "friendship," I didn't send any. Now George W. Bush wants money, too. He's written, and suggests I send anywhere between $35 and $1,000 to help his campaign. He tells me, "We can end the Clinton/Gore era, but I need your help today." George W's note isn't as sweet as Hillary's. The gold seal of the Governor of the State of Texas adorns the top of the letter. At first glance, the letter appears to be handwritten, and the salutation - "Mr. Schuh" - is in the same hand as the remainder of the letter. A computer can't do that, can it? Surely Mr. Bush must think we met somewhere. George W. Bush has to be a very important figure - I say that because his handwriting is most difficult to read. I've always heard that if you have sloppy or hard-to-read handwriting, you must be an important person. Look at doctors - they're important people and they write illegibly, especially on prescriptions. (By the way, I think I know why it takes pharmacists so long to fill prescriptions - they sneak behind the counter, duck down and secretly call the doctor to find out what he wrote on that scrap of paper.) Back to Mr. Bush - two things in his letter stand out that concern me, and both are "Yuppie-isms." In the upper right hand corner, Mr. Bush writes the date this way: "4.3.00." He must like dots and dot-coms - a sure sign of "Yuppie-ness." We older types learned to write the date "4/3/00," using slashes between the day, month and year. A few people are now using dots within telephone numbers, (715.343.8045) so they can appear European or stylish or whatever. Advertising agencies are to blame for that. Mr. Bush also commits what news people say is a cardinal sin. We always learned that the office of the presidency requires calling the person holding it "Mister." Mr. Bush probably would want folks to address him as "Mister" if he wins the November election, but he must have such disdain for the present White House occupant and the vice-president that he calls them simply "Clinton/Gore." Notice he used a slash between their names - not a dot. In any event, it's bad form. Mr. Bush treats Misters Clinton and Gore as a single unit (a sneaky thing challengers often do, to make voters think the incumbent and his partner are inseparable). Mr. Bush probably would argue with me, but I think "Clinton/Gore" are two people. I distinctly remember seeing both of them on TV, even though Mr. Gore blended in with the wallpaper. When using them as the subject of a sentence, grammatical rules call for a plural predicate, unless you're the Associated Press, and make your own rules. Then you use singular verbs with collective nouns, for example: "the couple ARE" or "the class WERE." In his letter to me, Mr. Bush has assumed the AP posture, and uses "has" instead of "have." He writes: "For eight years, Clinton/Gore HAS had history's greatest opportunity to reform Social Security." Mr. Bush has a few other bad letter-writing habits - he mixes writing with printing, and he doesn't connect all the letters in his words. He likes to write the small letter "L" all by itself, even in the middle of a word, so it comes out looking like this: "mu l tip l ied." Sometimes, he does the same with the small letter "F," as in "ref orm." This makes it tough to read his letter. I'm also not sure I can believe all of Mr. Bush's promises. In one paragraph, he writes "after eight years of Clinton/Gore, we have the highest tax burden since World War II. I will work to cut taxes for everyone who pays taxes." But two paragraphs above that, Mr. Bush says, "For eight years, Clinton/Gore multiplied our military's missions, while cutting its capabilities. I will rebuild our military." Sounds to me like he might have to raise taxes to buy more $600 monkey wrenches for the Army. Well, I haven't sent any money. So let me sum it up this way: I think Mr. Bush would rather that I don't connect various parts of his letter - in the same way he doesn't connect parts of his words. You may reach Jim Schuh at the Gazette, or by e-mail at jpschuh@excite.com.